So, I cheated on my boyfriend. Who I honestly didn’t know was my boyfriend or that I was even in a relationship. I know you are probably reading this and thinking how in the hell can you cheat on someone ? and You don’t know that you two are in a relationship ? Well, it’s quite easy. So I met this guy over the summer. Him and I was spending time together and I mean a lot of time together. We would be over one another’s house, spend hours on the phone pillow talking. Which I assume we were just talking.
However, during the course of our interactions we never acknowledge we were a couple. Anyone who knows me, know I have a tendency to need clarification on what I am with someone. If a man doesn’t clarify what we are then it’s not something you can hold me too . This will allow me to treat this situation and individual accordingly. Anyway, the interesting thing about this particular situation. I wasn’t my normal relationship driven self. I didn’t want a relationship at the time. Not saying I would have begun one if he asked me. I was just comfortable….
Comfortable with the fact that I didn’t have to try with him. I didn’t have to be domesticated or submissive with him. I was just me . He didn’t force me to focus solely on him. I could be my carefree self and he was fine with that. For example, I went out on date with someone else and I asked him would he mind. His replied “No, he didn’t mind”. The interesting thing about this situation is while I was on my date he stayed up waiting to make sure I got home safely. However, much to my own fault and some of his. I took advantage of the liberty of not having any structure in this relationship.
It wasn’t until he got his heartbroken… It was in this moment we both realized of how far we had let things go. His ability to wait and not speak out on how he really felt and say what he really wanted from me. My own ability to realize that I genuinely needed what we had and I didn’t know how good it was until it was gone. How one small mistake and impulsive decision could change two people. He had asked me not to do something and I took it amongst myself and did it anyway. But I learned a very valuable lesson during this situation.
Communication should be mastered before things get to far. I know this is often my weaknesses. Maybe I lost all the energy to talk and converse in my previous relationship. I also realized you learn a lot about people when you tend to piss them off. You see their true characteristics and maybe this why everything feel apart. Everyone has their breaking point. Most people won’t forgive you even if you do everything they ask. The last thing I have learned: Men have emotions (I know you’re probably thinking , of course they do their human). I’m here to say it for them. WE AS WOMEN KNOW YOU HAVE EMOTIONS. BUT WE AREN’T GOING TO WAIT FOR YOUR EGO TO DEFLECT AND TELL US HOW YOU FEEL.