Dating on your OWN Terms

Recently, I ran across a interesting twitter feed (unfortunately, I didn’t think to screenshot the feed to attach in this blog post). Anyways, there was a guy who had a female friend reach out to him on advice of why guys seems to overlook her. She would date guys and they would move in and out her life quickly only to regret losing her (sis, we have all been there). She wonder why this was becoming a consistent pattern and why this happened to her.

Her friend the began asking her the tough questions. “What your personal goals ?” Her reply: “I don’t know”. “Where do you see yourself ?” Her reply: “I don’t know”. “What do you want to accomplish in the next year?” She replied : “She didn’t know.” After becoming annoyed with his questions. She asked him: “Why are you asking me this ? What does it have to do with anything were discussing ?” He replied : “It matters because you have to know where you’re going. To often in a relationship you have people with no sense of direction and they are just winging it. They have no real goals just cute date nights, consistent sex and cute couple goal pictures.

This resonated with me. Lately, I haven’t been pursing a date life because I’m still damaged from my last situation. I realized two things. One, I’m stingy with my time and myself. Two, I have a lot of shit to work on within me. I can’t put my best foot forward in a relationship if I have not tapped into my full capacity as an individual. We are always going to be growing. However, at a certain point of growth you reach reassurance.

I know society and social media has everyone thinking that we should be a relationship and if you aren’t something is wrong with you. Don’t fall for the trap. Know who you are as a person. Acknowledge your strengths and traumas. Spend time learning your mind, body and spirit. Take your self out on a date, buy yourself flowers. Remember it’s okay to date on your own terms and time. No one is going to love you better than yourself.

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